His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
