Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Randomize