All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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