Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Randomize
