do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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