In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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