There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize