Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
