Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
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