No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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