Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize