dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
