How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
