we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
