I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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