Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize