Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I want to fling myself into the sun
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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