it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
