i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
