ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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