i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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