so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
