I'm drive I can fine osifer
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
