Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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