She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
