winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
