I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
