Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
PANTIES FOUND
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