'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
