Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Found your dick twin last night
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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