I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
the day after is always just damage control
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
