Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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