So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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