So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
We need a shit load of segways right now
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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