FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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