Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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