Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize
