2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Randomize