Well apparently he's into motor boating.
i will never coherently bang her
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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