...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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