the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
