whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Holy sore nipples Batman
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
