i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
do herpes really smell.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize