I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
