I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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