OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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