Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
