found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
