Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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