So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
