He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
