I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
North Korea, Best Korea!
I CAN MOONWALK!
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Let's paint friendship bongs
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize