theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
