you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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