I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Randomize
