Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
