booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Randomize
