3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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