: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
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